If you listen to the Nurture & Support Podcast, you may have heard that I read a kooky little book about ‘Tidying Up’ recently. Ha ha ha, I know. Me. Tidying up. It’s an insane notion, but it’s true. I have become a tidier. One who tidies. However, I prefer the title DeHoarder. It just has a more badass feel too it, you know? Like I’m Michonne wielding a Katana of Cleanliness.
Yup. That’s me. There isn’t a dust bunny that me and my Swiffer 360 with Telescoping Handle can’t vanquish. Except maybe that one. It looks kind of shifty, like one of those predatory fish that disguise itself as something innocuous like a coral covered rock.
What’s more harmless than a dust bunny?
I think it’s a trap. It’s too perfect with it’s perfect roundness and the way it’s been quietly creeping across the floor. Towards the back of the desk in fact. The back of the desk that opens up to where my helpless naked feet are. Does anyone here the Jaws theme? That’s weird. Fuck it. This monster’s too much for the Swiffer. It’s time to pull out the big gun.
The Dyson will mow this mother down.
Nuke the site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure!